Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Many of you may be wondering what in the world "pijja" is. "Pijja" is the Korean pronunciation of the word, "pizza". First of all, Koreans are quite adept at creating certain products, mainly ones which are related to technology. We all know that Samsung televisions and computers are quite good, and some of you may have seen Korean cellular phones in a Korean film you downloaded or rented, as if Blockbuster Video even exists anymore. Koreans also excel in manufacturing products which are designed for beautification. Finally, although they aren't products of modern Korea, Hanbok, or traditional Korean clothing, is quite beautiful with its vast array of colors, and Korean teas are simply delicious.

With that being said, one thing that Koreans absolutely cannot do is make pizza. They have no idea what pizza is. The most extreme example of this can be found in one of my colleague's stories about going to a "restaurant" in Daegu ten years ago. For those of you who don't know, Daegu/Taegu, is a city with a wonderful, convenient subway system, cleaner air than in Seoul, and supposedly, the most beautiful women in the nation. Anyway, back when my colleague was a naive fool, he decided to order said food. The pizza consisted of strawberry jam, plastic-ish "cheese", and crackers. That's right; instead of tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and dough, this poor, unfortunate soul received this abysmal creation.

More common forms of "pizza" can be found at Mr. Pizza, a hellacious establishment which mocks everything Italian simply by the fact that it promotes itself as serving one of the greatest creations in the history of Europe to its pathetic customers. If you go to Mr. Pizza and desperately need a drink due to the Pizza Lunch-ables-style diarrhea-causing mess, be sure to order a lemonade, which is not lemon + sugar + water, as you might think, but is actually lemon soda. Oh, and don't bother asking the waitress for another fork or knife because yours is dirty, unless you want to wait ten minutes. If you're ever in Korea, and you're dumb enough/desperate enough to go to this place, I guarantee that you will leave after opening your menu, looking at the heinous pictures, and realizing that there isn't a damn thing that's Italian in sight. Take a look at this great picture from Mr. Pizza!

The following pictures make Mr. Pizza's excrement look almost normal!

Can someone please tell me what this is or what it's supposed to be? It looks like clay, mustard and alien flesh.

After that painting by the magnificent Picasso on acid, what more can I say?



Blogger HennyPenny said...

I can't say that I'm a fan of Korean pizza either. As soon as I bite into soft, mushy sweet potato paste I'm done.

Mind you.. Pizza Hut makes really good stuffed crust. Better than Canada, actually.

May 26, 2010 at 9:12 AM  

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